Our tutor set the task of writing a scene where a male and female collide into another males car - a minor road traffic accident. This scene he asked to be written in Estuary English. Being from Chatham, I wrote it in 'chav speak' - How most people talk there!
Our tutor also said to stay clear of dialect unless you have a good ear!
Here is my take on the task:
“Heya Chels what’s the goss? What ‘appened to Jacks wheels?” Lauren sat down next to Chelsea in the college canteen.
“Ah I’m well pissed, me an' Jack were out skuddin an' he was like well distracted by the gal drivin’ the car behind us. E’ din’t even notice the traffic lights change an' he smashed up the car in front.”
“Shit Chels, you alright?”
“Yer babe but the cars well fucked an' Jacks propa pissed me off, yer know what I mean? Not only did we crash coz of ‘im but e' got in a fight wid the old geezer that e' hit. The gavas got involved an' everythin. I’m fumin Lor. E' was actin like it were pure bant, but it’s serious init? Probs gonna get a criminal record now, fuckin twat.”